Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
