Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
