she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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