We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm at about main and main street
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
