if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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