After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
