I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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