i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize