im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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