The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
