I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My life is pants optional.
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