you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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