Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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