i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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