How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
