Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
