Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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