idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
