just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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