Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
