We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
