my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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