Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
