I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
