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The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
birth control should be required to get into college
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
