I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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