He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
