Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
