I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
