how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
