Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
