ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
