come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
