hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
