so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Randomize
