I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
