he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
