A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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