Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
