16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
