watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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