Hey man sorry I got all grabby
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
