The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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