Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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