You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm passing your future prison.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
