just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
