Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I die, sorry about rent.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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