Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
