it was like eating out sand paper
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
