I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
