Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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