i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Randomize
